Grandma Hangouts

We live 2000 miles or more away from grandparents. These boys only get to see them about annually. Definitely not as much as we'd like!

About a year ago, my mother-in-law had the brilliant idea to have "Grandma Nan Hangouts". At our designated time weekly (historically, Wednesday mornings; recently changed to Saturday afternoons) we sign into Google hangout.

For 30 minutes Grandma Nan reads the boys picture books.
For 30 minutes they sit on the couch enraptured by books with Grandma.
For 30 minutes, I have quiet time to start dinner, do my hair, or heck, shower.

It is a beautiful, beautiful thing: advancing gram/kiddo relationships, literacy and mommy hygiene.

Peterson Bucks

For our management system at home the boys have usually earned fuzzies or marbles for positive behaviors. When the jar is full some grand reward. (Meaning like a $1 Frosty.) Over time, this has lost its novelty and our latest system has instead been nagging many kindly reminders.  

I've been inspired by Crystal before; she's a go-get 'em, always-getting-a-new-project-done type. Last time I went over I snapped a shot of their new job chart:

They earn "family bucks" to eventually buy something from "the family store". This sounded fun and basic enough that even I could keep up on it. 

I couldn't quite recreate that lovely dark framed magnet board, but I came up with something that works for me as a nice alternative I think.

At Michaels I bought this square dark corkboard set of 3 ($9) and some little teal paper bags in the invitation section ($2). I printed off some $1s and $5s in bulk, "laminated" each bag with packing tape for endurance and taped the job labels on each pouch. Pretty simple.

Each time they do a job/positive behavior they get a Peterson Buck. The golden star indicates they get double bucks for that category for the week. The jobs/behavior will change every few weeks--hopefully--as behaviors like "staying in bed until 6:30am" or "clearing the table" become routine. 

Right now Seth needs $25 and Noah has $12 to earn a reward. On Saturday mornings we count our bucks. We (with Seth at least) analyze where he got the most bucks ("Extra Peterson Bucks" for good manners) and where he got the least that he can improve for next week ("Trying New Food"). We open up the Peterson Store-- small Sterilite box of $1 toys, treats or coupons and they each choose one. Later on I'll stratify prices but for now we're keeping it simple. And it's been really fun. 

Saturday Show

Saturdays are fairly relaxing at our house; only one kiddo and few obligations. But it's the only day lacking any routine, which results in me feeling strangely anxious. I'm like a child in that way: I love having a schedule; I love knowing what's coming next. 

Ben and I agreed we needed to implement something to set Saturdays apart. "What did we do as kids?" we asked ourselves. We realized what's missing: Saturday morning cartoons! (accompanied by a hot breakfast when possible) followed by Saturday chores. 

The rule is we have to watch our "Saturday Show" on the couch as a family. We rotate as to who decides what cartoon to watch. A few weeks ago Ben chose a unexpectedly funny Coyote and Roadrunner episode. Last week Seth chose a few song clips from Sesame Street. And on my turn?: I picked the classic Bugs Bunny episode "Hair-raising Hare", below. 

I'm loving the combination of laughing together and then getting to work and cleaning our house as a family. Huzzah for family traditions.

The Road Not Taken

I did it. I started the tradition for my Dad's birthday, January 18.

The Road Not Taken

Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost is so easy to like, to listen to, to remember; I started easy by picking this classic piece.

But as easy as the words are, I was kind of perplexed by the potential meaning. Mostly, that he first thinks both roads are equally lovely, but then decides the second was nicer; but then recants that they actually do look just the same. And after all that, being so glad he chose that second road--the one that looked just like the first. Why on earth has that "made all the difference" then?

But yesterday I realized my decision-making usually goes about that way:
"There are two roads in my kitchen: fettuccine or the frozen pizza.
I could buckle down and make the fettuccine.
Or I could throw in the pizza.
Fettuccine is probably a little healthier.
Actually, neither is very healthy.
Well, both have grain, dairy and I add veggies, right?--maybe they're both on an equal nutritional plain.
Both need to be eaten eventually...
The pizza. I'll do the pizza.
And after this long tiring day, that has made all the difference."

I guess I do get it.

Original Listmaker

My sister, Emily (currently on a tropical island in Honduras), snapped this telling moment of our dear mother. List-making. It's in the blood.

German Chocolate Pie

Marie Callendar's German Chocolate Pie is still the telltale celebration dessert of my childhood household. Note: I've never liked German Chocolate cake. Ben is not a big pie fan. But we both love this pie. The chocolate melted on the bottom of the crust, the coconut, pecans, flaky crust, light whipped cream and chocolate pumpkin shaped seeds! It's something in itself to celebrate.

So I was notably distressed when I noticed that the local Marie Callendar's restaurant was out of business. Nooooo!

I decided I can't do without this pie for the rest of my life. I frantically searched for the recipe online. It didn't take long to find or make. Ben and I kicked off our recent Staycation with it.

German Chocolate Pie

8" pie shell, baked*
1 small box dark chocolate pudding (NOT instant)---we'd get a large box next time.
1 C. chocolate chips
1/2 C. fine coconut
1/2 C. chopped pecans or walnuts
Whipped topping, thawed---we used the canned whipped cream: Marie Callendar's style

Directions

Cover bottom of crust with chocolate chips, just enough for a single layer to cover bottom. Heat in oven or microwave to SLIGHTLY warm and soften the chocolate chips. Meanwhile, cook pudding according to box directions and add coconut and nuts; stir well. Pour while hot into pie crust. Chill in refrigerator until set. Once chilled, top with whipped topping. Sprinkle top with a few chocolate chips, coconut and nuts if desired.

*We made my Mom's pie crust recipe which I thought was perfect for this pie.

Mom's Pie Crust

2/3 c. + 2 T. shortening
2 c. flour
1 t. salt
8-10 T. cold water

Cut shortening into flour and salt. Sprinkle in water 1 Tablespoon at a time. Stir. When all flour moistened (not sticky), roll on floured surface. Makes 2 pie crusts. 

Lift dough into pan. Poke several holes in dough with fork so crust doesn't get big bubbles. Bake at 425 degrees for 8-10 minutes.

Memorizing

Friend MaryAnne's family has a tradition for their Dad's birthday. He's an English professor, so years ago he asked that each kid memorize a poem for him each year. Each got to choose what to memorize and then they would recite their choice to him. 

Now all his kids are grown and have several children of their own. The tradition has continued. Even MaryAnne's little 2-year-old daughter has short verses memorized.

Upon hearing this tradition, Ben and I felt inspired to memorize some poetry ourselves. We cracked open an old poetry book to try to find our selections. I originally chose the very inspiring "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll. (I had learned some of it years ago, so thought it'd be a fun and easy choice.) I later decided Ben's choice of "Death Be Not Proud" might be a more moving selection.

Death, be not proud    by John Donne

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so; For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me. From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be, Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow, And soonest our best men with thee do go, Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery. Thou'art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men, And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell, And poppy'or charms can make us sleep as well And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then? One short sleep past, we wake eternally, And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

And would you know it, I've memorized it! Even though I still don't feel confident in getting my own age right, my mind might just have more capacity than I give it credit for. I also really enjoy being able to engage my own mind at any old moment I want. No ipod, library book or Kindle necessary.  

And lucky for me, my Dad's birthday's not until January. I'll have enough time to cement it down.

Thrifting

Years ago when my mom's medium size mixing bowl broke she went to scope out what the local thrift store had by way of mixing bowls. She happened to find the exact same one there. Little flower trim and all. That's when we started saying my mom has a thrift store angel.

Needless to say, I look forward to thrift store perusing with my mom. It's a genetic hobby. While visiting there, we landed a 50% off everything in the store sale. Two favorite finds:

I found this shirt in green, $1.
My mom found these $120 Dansko shoes for me in my size. With the discount: $3.50.

Thanks again thrift store angel!

24+ Easter Ideas

One of my 2011 goals is to make more holiday traditions. I especially want to make Easter more special. Less bunnies. If there are 12 days of Christmas I figure there should be at least 12 days of Easter.

Post-Easter last year, I found a website (I can't remember where...) with some excellent ideas. Here are the ones I loved, plus a few I added. I hope to try them this year! At least most of them. And maybe someday we'll do one activity for each day of Lent; that'd be awesome. For now, I'll start a bit smaller.

Here's to a meaningful Easter celebration!

1. Ash Wednesday: First Day of Lent

- Explain ashes demonstrate sorrow for sin

- light candle, make ashes

- read in Old Testament about "sackcloth and ashes" and “beauty for ashes”

2. Lent is traditionally about “giving up” something to remember Christ’s sacrifice

- Saturday fast for lunch for month before Easter

- Give money to humanitarian aid

- Discuss this, make jar for money, decide where to send money

3. Take “new life walk” outdoors

- Look for new shoots on branches, flowers, eggs in nests

4 (or more). Sing Easter songs

5. Devotional on "the Lamb of God"

- Read Ex. 12:21-24; John 1:29; 1 Cor. 5:7-8

- Make a lamb: glue cotton balls to a small paper plate, then add pink and black construction-paper eyes, ears, muzzle, nose and hooves.


6. Ready for spring

- Clean out garden for bulbs

- or buy potted spring flower (tulips, daffodils, lilies)

7. Bring spring indoors

- Put soil in cup or pot and plant grass seeds

8. Devotional on redemption

- “recovering ownership" and "restoring value”

- read a scripture about redemption

9. Clean house

- Jewish families typically cleaned before the Passover celebration.


10. Passover dinner

(Ours would...will...be very small and simple.)

11. Give seed envelopes as Easter gifts

12. Make hot cross buns

13. Devotional on atonement

- Help kids understand the ideas of making amends or repaying a debt that is owed.

- Read a scripture about atonement.

14. (or more) Family and Resurrection

- Discuss ancestors’ story who have died.

15. Visit petting zoo and look for newborns

16 (or more). Movie on resurrection

- Watch “Lamb of God” or “The Testaments”

17. Devotional on repentance.

- Have a white shirt stained with red kool-aid. Apply bleach to stain.

- read Isaiah 1:18, pure as snow

- give example of a prayer of repentence

- challenge each person to repent of something that day

18. Palm Sunday

- pictures of palm leaves, donkey, words “hosanna”, “Son of David”

- read accounts from the Gospels

- discuss significance of each of above pictures or words

19. Devotional on resurrection

- Read a scripture passage that explains resurrection

- Answer "who, what, when, where, why and how" questions about resurrection

20. Devotional on witnesses of Jesus Christ's resurrection

- Find how many people saw Jesus after his resurrection

21. Maundy Thursday

- The word Maundy comes from a root word meaning "mandate" or "command."

- Look up John 13:34-35 to discover the "new commandment" Jesus gives.


- Read and discuss Matthew 26:36-46.

- Then read his prayer for all believers—including your family—in John 17:20-26.

22. Good Friday

- Probably evolved from the phrase "God's Friday."

- Talk about why the day Christ died is ultimately very good, the “good news”

- Isaiah 53:2-8, sufferings on cross

23. Ministered to spirits in prison

- Read 1 Peter 3:18-19, 1 Peter 4:6.

- Now read D&C 138:11-24 (or verses 11-37)

24. EASTER

- Candy in baskets, hide baskets somewhere in house; "seek and ye shall find"; “what comfort this sweet sentence gives: I know that my Redeemer lives”

- Devotional: Read scriptures of resurrection (imagine or act out as Mary, Peter or John)

- Cemetery scavenger hunt: look for youngest person, oldest person, favorite name

- Share testimonies with each other of resurrection

- Go sing Easter song to someone who would appreciate it

Letter from Birmingham Jail

I read Dr. King's letter for the first time yesterday: Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Ben and I read it outloud to each other, before dinner then finished before we went to bed.

Truly one of the most persuasive, moving pieces of writing I have ever read. We will have to make a tradition of reading it every Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

His letter is a response to a statement published in a newspaper by eight white Birmingham clergymen denouncing King's protests.

Here's the whole thing. It's definitely the most powerful to hear his entire response. But I'll put a few quotations here too.

One of the basic points in your statement is that the action that I and my associates have taken in Birmingham is untimely...

My friends, I must say to you that we have not made a single gain civil rights without determined legal and nonviolent pressure. Lamentably, it is an historical fact that privileged groups seldom give up their privileges voluntarily...

Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct-action campaign that was "well timed" in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word "Wait!" It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This "Wait" has almost always meant "Never." We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that "justice too long delayed is justice denied."

We have waited for more than 340 years for our constitutional and God-given rights. The nations of Asia and Africa are moving with jetlike speed toward gaining political independence, but we stiff creep at horse-and-buggy pace toward gaining a cup of coffee at a lunch counter. Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging dark of segregation to say, "Wait." But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six-year-old daughter why she can't go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five-year-old son who is asking: "Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?"; when you take a cross-country drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by nagging signs reading "white" and "colored"; when your first name becomes "n*****" your middle name becomes "boy" (however old you are) and your last name becomes "John," and your wife and mother are never given the respected title "Mrs."; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and are plagued with inner fears and outer resentments; when you go forever fighting a degenerating sense of "nobodiness" then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair. I hope, sirs, you can understand our legitimate and unavoidable impatience.

-------------

One may want to ask: "How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying others?" The answer lies in the fact that there are two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the first to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that "an unjust law is no law at all"

Now, what is the difference between the two? How does one determine whether a law is just or unjust? A just law is a man-made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law. To put it in the terms of St. Thomas Aquinas: An unjust law is a human law that is not rooted in eternal law and natural law. Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust. All segregation statutes are unjust because segregation distorts the soul and damages the personality. It gives the segregator a false sense of superiority and the segregated a false sense of inferiority.

-------------

One who breaks an unjust law must do so openly, lovingly, and with a willingness to accept the penalty. I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.

------------

One day the South will know that when these disinherited children of God sat down at lunch counters, they were in reality standing up for what is best in the American dream and for the most sacred values in our Judaeo-Christian heritage, thereby bringing our nation back to those great wells of democracy which were dug deep by the founding fathers in their formulation of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.

"Favorite Part of the Day"

We've had this tradition in my family since I was little. While we ate dinner together my dad would ask each of us, "What was your favorite part of the day?" Now at dinnertime Ben and I continue the tradition, asking the same question.

Today I knew what my favorite part of the day was in the moment. It was late afternoon, I was sitting on the piano bench. Seth sat on my lap playing with his new travel-size magnadoodle. He played with it for 50 minutes, happy to be held--something that doesn't happen everyday with a very active 13-month-old.

While we sat we listened to the Hollands episode on "Conversations". Partway through the interview they were asked about motherhood.

"I think the heart of the woman's soul is that need to nurture and care for her children. She might not realize it at the time those babies are little and its so demanding...but when you get to be my age you realize that's really where you needed to spend your time."

--Patricia Holland

With those words spoken and with Seth close and contend, I drank in that moment. I recognized the love we were receiving from each other. It became a sacred moment to me. I was with my little boy and we were happy.