Ezra's First Photo Op

Much thanks to doll of a friend Jessica Lawler for taking these beautiful photos of Ezra.

Ezra Oliver

Welcoming Ezra Oliver to our world. 

October 3, 2014

8:35am

7 lb. 12 oz.

21 inches

 

7.5 hours old

36 hours old

6 days old

10 days old

He is a bright-eyed joy. I'm so relieved he's healthy and here. It's miraculous to feel my heart expand so fast, welcoming in this new person. 

My third baby resolution is to worry less, cherish moments more and cuddle as much as possible. :)

Ezra, we love you! xoxo.

My Quilt of Reckoning

My great-great grandmother Mary Malinda Hall was a big time quilter. Like, she made a quilt for every child (she had 18), grandchild, child in her primary class at church, and many people in her little community. I thought maybe, maybe I have some kind of quilting blood in me I just needed to tap into.

But, see, I don't sew. For instance, I feel proud to know what a bobbin is. (Not that I can confidently wind it.)

By some miraculous event I got invited to a quilting group and by chance a bit of a master quilter took me under her wing. So I began learning to sew by starting to make a quilt. 

I never knew cutting and sewing straight lines could be so(oooooo) frustrating and tedious. And time consuming. Each block represents hours. No joke.

Now that I have these blocks done though, and can see it all together, I feel pretty proud. And I can see how people find it fulfilling. And a little addicting.

Next tasks: 

- get the squares back out of my closet,

- piece this together with borders between, 

- back it, 

- bind it, 

- give it to my little niece for a very belated birthday gift,

- never look at it again,

- pick and start one more ULTRA SIMPLE pattern, so as not to have this quilt of reckoning totally put me off from sewing or quilting for all time.  

Peterson Bucks

For our management system at home the boys have usually earned fuzzies or marbles for positive behaviors. When the jar is full some grand reward. (Meaning like a $1 Frosty.) Over time, this has lost its novelty and our latest system has instead been nagging many kindly reminders.  

I've been inspired by Crystal before; she's a go-get 'em, always-getting-a-new-project-done type. Last time I went over I snapped a shot of their new job chart:

They earn "family bucks" to eventually buy something from "the family store". This sounded fun and basic enough that even I could keep up on it. 

I couldn't quite recreate that lovely dark framed magnet board, but I came up with something that works for me as a nice alternative I think.

At Michaels I bought this square dark corkboard set of 3 ($9) and some little teal paper bags in the invitation section ($2). I printed off some $1s and $5s in bulk, "laminated" each bag with packing tape for endurance and taped the job labels on each pouch. Pretty simple.

Each time they do a job/positive behavior they get a Peterson Buck. The golden star indicates they get double bucks for that category for the week. The jobs/behavior will change every few weeks--hopefully--as behaviors like "staying in bed until 6:30am" or "clearing the table" become routine. 

Right now Seth needs $25 and Noah has $12 to earn a reward. On Saturday mornings we count our bucks. We (with Seth at least) analyze where he got the most bucks ("Extra Peterson Bucks" for good manners) and where he got the least that he can improve for next week ("Trying New Food"). We open up the Peterson Store-- small Sterilite box of $1 toys, treats or coupons and they each choose one. Later on I'll stratify prices but for now we're keeping it simple. And it's been really fun. 

A real person

During our first ultrasound we were told this little peanut has a two vessel umbilical cord instead of the typical three. That puts him at risk for certain heart and kidney problems, and potentially not growing at a normal rate. Thankfully, everything at the time looked normal.

Just in case, I had another ultrasound at about 28 weeks to make sure this little man is continuing to grow and develop well. Good news, he is! A "praise the Lord!" as my Grandma Bonnie put it. 

This photo was taken during that second ultrasound. Perhaps a bit hard to distinguish at first because the features are black from a little below the (potential) hairline and left side of his face. But that prominent button nose, puckery lips, and brow line say it loud and clear, "I am a real person in here!" And one that seems to resemble Noah a fair amount.

Of all the ultrasound photos we have--and our technician was generous in her printing--this is the one I hung on our frig. Seeing his face helps me realize this isn't theoretical: a real person with his own features, personality and gifts is joining us soon. Only 5 weeks to go!

My Style Room

Two interior decorator friends, Janelle and Crystal, and my artistic sister-in-law, Anna, have a gift of making beautiful spaces. They've long inspired me to find my own style. 

After some perusings through style books, many trips to local thrift stores, and a few lucky yard sale/Craigslist finds our living room is starting to come together. It feels good to have a nice space! 

[Photo of Ben and I discussing/envisioning what else the room needs.]

White chair: IKEA, from fav consignment store Pennies for Change

Tree stump end table: Pennies for Change

Pillow: Target

Curtains: Target

Vintage looking birds print: Christmas Tree Shoppe

 Basket, Oval mirror, Japanesey yellow vase, ceramic dove: fav thrift store, Durham Rescue Mission

Tree branch: outside my house

Stacking stones: from beach just north of Ecola Point, Oregon

Grove photo: printed with permission from online

New Yorker print: street corner in New York

Two white vases: thrift stores

Little stone owl: from grandma

Ceramic bowl: wedding gift from artist

Leaves: outside house in NY, outside house in NC

Lamp: yard sale

 Tree ring rug: IKEA, from Craigslist

 Painting and gaudy gold frame: fav thrift store

Sofa: Crate and Barrel, from friend's yard sale

Pillows: long ago

Probably my favorite piece: the white glass dove

Brand New Noah

Noah Steven

May 27, 2012

3:57 pm

7 lb., 12 oz.

21 inches

My Mothers

As I'm approaching having this baby (due in 17 days, but who's counting), I've had a few particular people on my mind: my mothers.

From left to right: my grandmother Linda, my great-grandmother Orpha, my mom Lori, and my great-great grandmother Mary. What wonderful women they were and are!

Without them there would be no me! Sounds like a Dr. Seuss take-away message, but it's a truth that's resounded in me lately more than ever. My profound thanks to them for their desire to mother and their ability to mother so well.

And happy birthday to my beautiful mother today!

The Maraca Photo

Probably my #1 baby pic fav of Seth.
6 weeks old.
Shot by fabulous cousin Hannah Galli. Check out her work.

The Real Deal

The series of miscarriages I had before Seth has messed with my mind a little: I don't always associate pregnancy with having a baby. 

So seeing these images during my recent ultrasound reminded me this pregnancy means we have a living, breathing, moving, growing person who's joining us soon!

 

And: it's a BOY!

Ashley

Ashley has a Midas touch. Everything she handles turns classy. I mean everything. I've attended a dinner where she served high-end mac and cheese (for her daughter's first birthday, so cute). For a person generally unsophisticated like me, I need some Ashley in my life to remind me how to live well. Additionally, she even somehow manages to make exercising look classy. A very hard feat indeed.

Here's her running story. In February she signed up for a half-marathon. She hadn't run a meter in years, but decided since her husband was busy in medical school she needed some new hobbies of her own. She didn't train with anyone, she ran every mile on a treadmill. *eek* Eight weeks later, she ran her first half-marathon. And she didn't stop there--she then signed up for a marathon, which she runs in just 2 weeks.

But here's what is great about Ashley. She doesn't tote a 'tude. She's convinced everyone can do it. That's where I come in. About May she invited me to do this half-marathon in September. "You can totally do it, Celeste."* Oh Ashley, of course you think I can do it, because you think everyone is awesome like you.

She was so convinced I could do it, I thought, "Ya know, maybe I could." That's a sign of a good friend, don't you think?; someone who helps you reach outside yourself.

Besides all that, Ashley's a great listener, adores her husband and daughter, stays positive, helps others, and cooks fantastic food. Here's to Ashley and to classy people everywhere!

---

*I guess that's one great thing about moving away from home too. Anyone who has known me for a long period of time would never invite me to do something like run a long distance for fun. And pay for it. They've heard my "I-can't-stand-when-people-claim-to-like-running-because-you-know-they're-just-saying-it-to-look-good" shpeel. But if you move away where no one knows your past or quiet strong opinions, you get more invitations to expand yourself. So here's, also, to living in new places.

Unbroken

You know you love a book when:

 3. You buy it in hardcover before you finish reading it.
 2. You read even the description of the font set, because you don't want it to be over just yet.
 1. You want to change yourself because a character inspires you.

In my top 3 must-reads for nonfiction. I kept thinking, "If this was fiction I'd say this is so unrealistic; these things could never really happen; especially not to one person." But they did.

One thing I walked away with after reading Unbroken is the realization that it's possible to not complain. Even in bad situations. Even in horrific situations. And maybe "woe is me"s are actually destructive to success. I at least know this: if Louie Zamperini didn't complain, then I can never justify complaining.

I've found that not complaining is harder than I thought, because it's often breaking social etiquette. It's easier for me to say, "Seth is still screaming all the way through nursery at 21-months-old, dangit" than "Yesterday Seth looked at me, placing his hand on my cheek in a way that said, 'I trust you and I love being with you'; I love being a mom". It's the commotion and worry of the day that's easiest to share. It's difficult to come across down-to-earth without a little complaining. Thankfully, I live around many moms who know how to share those tricky situations in a laugh-them-off way, without complaining. I need to learn the ropes of that social nook a bit more.

It runs deeper than social settings though. I know because when Ben walks in that door, what do I tell him about my day? Oftentimes I reel off the latest reason dinner is going to be a little late because of some hold-up. Couldn't I just as easily tell him the new words Seth said that day while we finish up dinner together instead of souring the welcome home moment? I could. So it's not just social pressure. It's a mindset.

There's a graceful way to stay upbeat while still looking at your challenges realistically. At least this book made me begin thinking so.

Starting this goal on the Zamperini scale is daunting; but I'll just start with baby steps. If Zamperini was running the mile in 4 minutes, I'm try to run it in 10.

Memorizing

Friend MaryAnne's family has a tradition for their Dad's birthday. He's an English professor, so years ago he asked that each kid memorize a poem for him each year. Each got to choose what to memorize and then they would recite their choice to him. 

Now all his kids are grown and have several children of their own. The tradition has continued. Even MaryAnne's little 2-year-old daughter has short verses memorized.

Upon hearing this tradition, Ben and I felt inspired to memorize some poetry ourselves. We cracked open an old poetry book to try to find our selections. I originally chose the very inspiring "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll. (I had learned some of it years ago, so thought it'd be a fun and easy choice.) I later decided Ben's choice of "Death Be Not Proud" might be a more moving selection.

Death, be not proud    by John Donne

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so; For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me. From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be, Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow, And soonest our best men with thee do go, Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery. Thou'art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men, And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell, And poppy'or charms can make us sleep as well And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then? One short sleep past, we wake eternally, And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

And would you know it, I've memorized it! Even though I still don't feel confident in getting my own age right, my mind might just have more capacity than I give it credit for. I also really enjoy being able to engage my own mind at any old moment I want. No ipod, library book or Kindle necessary.  

And lucky for me, my Dad's birthday's not until January. I'll have enough time to cement it down.

Seth at the Coast

Berneice

Berneice is Seth's great-great grandmother. She is 97-years-old and as attentive a hostess as they come. We recently visited her in her lovely Orem apartment. Each time we visit I'm impressed by her friendliness and graciousness. I hope as I age I can become more like her.

Follow Through

I've had that Gavin Degraw song stuck in my head. And not because I've heard it recently. I've been thinking about following through. But Gavin isn't the one who sparked the idea. It was Gillian.

On Friday nights we trade babysitting with Gillian and Jonathan. Every other week they go on a date and I sit in their very orderly and homey living room while their boys sleep. Over time I've noticed two things.

1: their grand piano never has dust on it.

2: a new project is always done.

One week she had sown pillowcases. Another week they painted a table for their porch. For several weeks they were reading, buying for and preparing their first ever vegetable garden. The most impressive part is the projects are always completed.

I go home and look around. It doesn't take long to see how I do not follow through:

- dishes constantly left in drainer and not put away before used again

- mending and "to bleach" piles sitting...for months.

- October: family pictures taken, April: picture frames purchased, ?: order the prints

The non-follow through attitude is not so troubling when it comes to taking dishes from drainer. But it is alarming when that attitude spills into more important areas. Like e-mailing. Or acting on impressions I've received. I often fall into the "danger of 'someday'" trap.

I perplexedly told Ben my realization. "I don't follow through!" He made a suggestion: instead of looking for all the instances you fall short, decide to see it as, "Look, I can improve by following through with this."

Okay. To do this I think I have to pinpoint why I stop before getting to the finish line.

Sometimes it's not wanting to giving effort to the last 10% of the task.

Sometimes it's not wanting to put forth the first effort.

Sometimes it's lack of energy.

Oftentimes it's motivation. "I can always do it later..."

Oftentimes there's something else I'd rather do.

Oftentimes it's wanting someone else to make the decision, or show me how to do it, or even tell me when to do it.

And many times there's also a dash of fear I won't do it right.

Now I have the causes identified, so time for the list. (There always has to be a list you know.)

It will be a list of weekly progress---tasks I wanted to put off but followed through with, no matter how small. To pressure myself to follow through with it I'll report back in a week with how it goes.

Truth be known, I've been meaning to make this list for 3 days. I still have yet to do it. I will make it now, before I post or it will surely never happen!

Done!

Kira

Kira is a friend who lives across the parking lot. She has 2 little blondies and the cutest vintage style. Her oldest is a 3-year-old fashion-conscious ballerina and quite a firecracker. Though Kira claims to be on the shy side she has brilliant humor. Every time I read her blog I laugh outloud. What she wrote on Mother's Day particularly made me laugh and inspired me. Here's part of it:

Here is how she [3-year-old firecracker] chose to greet me on Mother's Day morning, "Mommy, I just love Daddy so much. I wish it was Father's Day."

---

But don't worry...I am not throwing in the towel on Mother's Day. I am just embracing a new tradition of the Mother's Day Challenge. Because afterall, Mother's Day isn't a day when the children wake-up and think "It's Mother's Day. I am going to play it cool." No, it is a day for me to prove that I do rock as a mother. That when my kid uses my new shirt as his Kleenex, I'm not going to get upset...no way, It's Mother's Day and I am a good Mom. And when my skirt is colored on, you won't see me frown because, "It's Mother's Day and I am a good Mom." And when the goldfish spill and the [Mother's Day] song isn't sung or the "I love you" said...you won't see yelling at the kids...no not on this day, because "It's Mother's Day and I am a good Mom!"

How Sweet It Is

I just want to stop--and thank you baby. You've been working and studying so diligently, and to boot you share, listen to and reassure me, and help me with a smile. You're such a good daddy, great husband and will be a great future physician! Good luck with the 6-week stretch before Step 1 of the boards!

Anna and her art

This is our sister-in-law Anna.
I've heard she's in the Guinness Book of World Records under "nicest person on the planet". We love her. And her art; she's an artist. In fact, she's having her final show for her BFA degree in just 1 week. Go see it on BYU campus in the HFAC if you can.

Incredible painting of Ben's brother, Dave (her husband).

And if, like us, you can't attend :?( you'll just have to enjoy her paintings on her art blog.

Our cousin Nick. Her work is so amazing, yeah?

Congratulations Anna, the insanity is almost at an end!

Lori Frugality

My mom has a heart thing. We never knew why, we just knew about twice a year when she'd move slower and sigh every few minutes that that meant her heart was suddenly racing. It'd start usually when she bent over to pick something up, and wham, cardio workout pulse: the heart thing. (I told she'd make major money if she could figure out how it worked and marketed it; motto "the workout without the work".)

"Mom are you having your heart thing?"

::exhale and a squinty mind-your-own-business smile:: "Maybe."

"Mom, you should go lay down."

It's hard to get this woman to stop. And it's even harder to get her to go to the doctor. If I had the heart thing I'd make an appointment the first weird beat I got. Maybe I'm paranoid. But it's been going on for years and she's never gone to a cardiologist.

Until recently. It started happening more frequently and lasting longer. Like 4 hours plus at 200 beats per minute. And nothing she did could get it to stop. With some pressure from us, she finally met with a cardiologist. He told her next time it happened to come in to the office so they could do an EKG.

Well about a month ago she was sitting reading a book and it started again. After many hours she decided to go into the cardiologist. He told her she needed a certain shot, and she had to get it in the emergency room.

She was a little ticked. Here's her slightly stubborn side coming out. She ducks out of the office and goes, not to the hospital, but to her primary care doctor. She explains that their insurance has a high deductible and the original reason she went to the cardiologist is to avoid ER expenses. Isn't there something else she can do?, she asks.

The PCP let her wait it out a bit in his office, to see if it would slow down or stop. After a time he kindly told her it might be better to pay some ER expenses now than pay for some kind of major crisis later. Good call. So she relented and made her way over to the hospital.

She got an angry greeting from a nurse telling her she should have come straight in and they've been looking for her. In no time she was told from a young doctor with a ponytail she'd be receiving a shot that would reboot her system--briefly stopping her heart. "Some people describe the sensation as a crushing darkness." Lovely. She realized then why that shot probably wouldn't be administered in a little cardiologist office.

Happily, she rebooted fine, and she shortly left and drove herself home.

The condition itself is not life threatening, but certainly not good for a body once it reaches its older years. So she herself actually opted to meet with a specialist that could do a non-surgical procedure--which she stressed to me, was not a surgery--where they go in through a vein in the leg and zap part of her heart--the AV node (?)--with a laser or something. I guess it basically kills that little non-essential part that's created the heart thing.

She had her surgery this morning, so I suppose she no longer has the heart thing. Rest in peace, heart thing. We will always remember thee, for the forbearance and frugality you inspired in one so dear.

On another medical note: perhaps my own bare bones attitude toward spending money is not choice but genes.