Overcoming Competitive Mothering

I've found that I have a box of little prideful delights. I think most mothers who are still human have theirs too.

"I had an epidural."

"I had a natural childbirth."

"My baby is smart."

"My baby is small."

"My kid is well-behaved."

"My kid is beautiful."

There's often a second part to these thoughts that is barely audible in our minds, but very present:

"I had an epidural...unlike those insecure women trying to 'prove themselves.'"

"I had a natural childbirth...unlike other women who can't handle it."

"My baby is smart...er than _______,"

"My baby is small...er than ______,"

"My kid is well-behaved...at least compared to ______,"

"My kid is beautiful...at least more than ______."

Why do we feel compelled to compete?

How can we be truly grateful about these blessings, but not compare them to someone else's blessings? Or worse, someone else's challenges?

Usually when I hear the story of the 10 lepers I've thought, "Well, I hope I'm one that would remember to thank Him." But I think there is a more applicable way to think about that story: we likely only recognize and thank the Lord for 1 blessing for every 10 He gives us.

Who has given us these, and every, blessing? Certainly the Lord. We cannot be proud when we recognize every good thing comes from Him and not ourselves.

If anybody had reason to brag about her labor and delivery, mothering skills or perfect children it was certainly Mary. And how did she react?

First, she pondered her blessings and responsibilities in her heart.

And when she did speak of them, she most fervently and meekly testified of the Lord's great power.

And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,

And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.

For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.

For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.

And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.

He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.

He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.

He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.

He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy;

As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever.

No wonder she was chosen. Let us do as Mary and ponder these things in our heart. Let us learn from them and cherish them. Let us pray to God in thanks for them! But let us not pride ourselves in what we have not done. Let us not think we have accomplished anything where we have only been blessed. Let us be mothers who worship God and not ourselves.