Lindsey

This girl has a degree in communication and it's evident. We met today at Cafe Delirium to reconnect. High school days were the last time we really talked. And with so much to catch up on I found myself at a loss. She told me about this Miss Oregon contestant she's choreographing for, her dad winning a huge gold tournament; the details, the things you want to hear.

On the other hand, my replies were limited to, "That's fabulous", "I love that" and "Wow". With 8 years to draw from, I explained my life in about 4 sentences. And my questions for her were just as bland. Thank heavens she knows how to pick up a conversation in a lull.

I wanted to say, "I'm really an interesting person still I swear." "I'm not typically awkward." "I really do have opinions and things to say, my mind's just blank for some reason."

What makes my mind go blank? What keeps me from myself in those moments? Intimidation? Lack of good questions? Realization of our differing lives and feeling self-conscious? Worry about being judged?

I'm not sure whether it's all or none of those, but I hate that feeling. I want to be myself and not feel bad about it. Lindsey does a great job at that. Good girl.