Boy does reading poorly written books make me appreciate good writers. I recently read (the first 50 pages) of a short book for book club. It was a written 1960s version of "The Office": supposedly funny goings-on of an office building. It was laughably bad. It makes me realize I should never author a book. I'm sure I'd get a taste of my own medicine.
Don't you worry, I'll illustrate.
Enter
Vague, Cliche, and Needlessly Wordy.
1:
"The building, because of its affinity for small and nonglamorous individual businesses, was usually not given to many or frequent visits by persons of renown or high community status and prestiage.
As is true of any city or town, there are always a few families that go back to the roots of a community, became wealthy, hence well known."
2:
"Once in the elevator, her domesticated carnivore [he means dog] would be encouraged to leap into her arms and to thus be saved from possible sudden elevator irregularities in transit that might shock its delicate musculature. Together, thus joined, they would reach the proper floor where our podiatrist conducted his extremity based ministrations."
Once he called the elevator a "vertical vehicle" I had to put the book down. You just feel embarrassed for the guy. If you were wondering, he was a businessman who worked in aforesaid office building. And his small and nonglamorous business must not have raked in enough for him to hire an editor. Hence (a favorite of his) the quality.
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